I’m writing this out in the hopes that someone astrologically knowledgeable will see it and be able to offer some guidance or support.
Seriously. I can’t stress how much this time of year sucks for me. Here’s why.
Just LOOK at that. It’s legitimately true that every fiber of my being literally pulls as far away from Pisces (♓) as possible. Since the sun is in Pisces in late February through most of March, I’m at odds with myself.
I’m creatively and emotionally blocked and it’s driving me nuts. For over a week now I’ve felt as though my head is in a fog. I’ve been working out again, and energetically/physically I’m feeling fantastic. Emotionally, I’m in a state of confusion and turmoil. Creatively, I’m completely stuck.
It’s the same every year. From August through the end of December I’m in my element. I’m happy, I’m in touch with my inner self, I’m fully at home with myself. From January through July I struggle.
Until I understood my astrological chart a little better, this never made sense to me. I knew I liked fall but I didn’t understand how incredibly important to me it is.
I’ve read that the sun sign is one’s ego, the moon sign is one’s inner self, and the rising sign is how one is perceived by others. That might be a little more simplistic than it deserves, but it is something I’ve found to be true for myself.
With my sun in Virgo, moon in Leo, and rising in Cancer, I’m screwed in late winter/early spring. There’s nothing that attaches me to this time of year, nothing about it that feels like home to me.
Understanding this explains why sun sign alone never felt like an accurate depiction of all that I am. Looking at all three has provided greater self-awareness for me. It has helped me evolve as an individual. It doesn’t make this time of year suck any less, though.
For now, I’ll simply have to be okay with not being able to write. Or, rather, not feeling the creative flow that I’m used to. I try every day to write. I sit at my laptop and I try to think of what might be inside me that needs to get out. I can’t figure out what’s there. I don’t have a yearning to explode into words like I usually do.
It’s like I can’t get my brain to work. It just wants to float. It’s the opposite of what I’m comfortable with. I long to be grounded and I am struggling to achieve that right now.