First Date

I went on my first Tinder date tonight.

I signed up on Saturday. Today is Monday.

I also have a date lined up for tomorrow. And Friday. And next Monday. I probably would have dates on Wednesday and Thursday, too, except I already have plans on those nights.

I can’t believe I was nervous about this! Honestly, I’m finding it so easy to chat and then set up times to meet for drinks. It’s delightful and not at all stressful.

The guy I met up with tonight was boring. Delightfully so. He was sweet, and emotionally solid and accessible, and easy to talk to, and deliciously void of excitement.

He was flattered to be out with me. He may have been more nervous than I was.

It was a resounding success.

Old Self would have written him off right away as someone she didn’t have chemistry with. Old Self would have been far more excited to meet someone there were instant fireworks with.

New Self has been burned by fireworks. New Self has learned what horrors result from exciting initial encounters.

I read an amazing book recently called Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love.

I learned that my attachment style is a rather anxious one.

I also learned that people with a secure attachment style aren’t exciting.

People who are reliable and solid and lovely often appear rather boring at first.

People who are solid and reliable are the people worth knowing long term.

I am happy to have met someone who exhibits these qualities. I am happy that my first date was with someone lovely who was not at all intimidating.

I was worried. I was anxious. I thought he would think I was fat, and ugly, and would criticize. I thought he would be disappointed in my appearance.

The majority of people aren’t like that. The majority of the people in the world are kind and emotionally generous and forgiving. I had forgotten. I had forgotten how lovely people can be.

If nothing else, I think I’ve made a really quite superior new friend.

We shared a pleasant hug goodbye… and I’m absolutely adoring that his cologne is lingering on my clothes.


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