I’ve been struggling to pick my writing back up. I forgave myself for letting it slide over the holidays, but the holidays are now over. The words aren’t flowing through me, though.
To be fair, I also forgave myself for letting slide my workouts, eating healthy, and preparations for my trip to France, and haven’t been having an easy time picking any of those back up either. Ah, holidays. It really is the same every single year, isn’t it?
Anyway, I’m writing right now, even though the words aren’t coming easily, because trying at all is the only way the words might start to flow. Here goes.
I’m still seeing the sexy professor. I enjoy him more and more as time goes by. It’s been six weeks. We’re taking things very slowly. It feels very good. It’s very comfortable.
He is what I knew I was looking for. He’s an easy friend to be with, someone it’s fun and lovely to hang out with and to whom I can easily and comfortably express affection and emotion. And he’s more, too, in that my feelings are definitely more than friendship.
Yet he doesn’t make me feel stifled or owned. He isn’t possessive.
And we really do talk about anything and everything. I’m still very much enjoying my foray into the world of polyamory/ethical non-monogamy. The blog post I indicated was forthcoming over a month ago never came to fruition, so I guess this is it.
The sexy professor is married and also dating someone else. I’ve seen a different guy a couple times but haven’t gone out with anyone new in ages, although not for lack of trying (more on that below).
The sexy professor and I can talk openly about our other partners, or in my case, the search for other partners. His wife, other partner, and even his mother all know about me. I know I’m not being kept a secret; there is full transparency everywhere.
I love that I’m not being relied on to be someone’s everything. It’s something that was important to me and I struggled to put it into my online profile. I’m so happy to have found it so quickly and easily.
And I’m so happy to not be exclusive. I’m totally open to meeting new men, but I haven’t had time in weeks. There are two guys who I’ve been taking to since mid-December and I’m finally meeting up with each of them over the next couple of weeks. There’s another guy who I just started chatting with the other day, and I’ll be meeting him soon, as well.
I love that I can tell the sexy professor about these guys. I love that I can like the sexy professor as much as I do and yet not feel stifled or controlled by the fact of us liking each other. I like that I’m completely confident in how much he likes me and it doesn’t bother me to hear about his wife or girlfriend or anyone new he might go out on dates with.
The degree to which he likes someone else takes nothing from me. Love is not a finite resource.
I’m not fantasizing about a future life where the relationship has advanced along a prescribed path dictated by traditional societal norms or fearing the possibility this may or may not progress in such a way.
For the first time ever while in a new relationship, I don’t feel anxious. I’m not fantasizing about a future life where the relationship has advanced along a prescribed path dictated by traditional societal norms or fearing the possibility this may or may not progress in such a way. I’m able to stay present and enjoy what is happening as it unfolds.
I love meeting and talking to other men, and understanding that doing so says nothing about how much I like the one I’m already seeing.
In brief, things with the sexy professor and my foray into polyamory are both going exceedingly… nay, surprisingly and delightfully… well.
Overall, with romance and all other aspects of my life, I continue to be absolutely stunned by how happy I am.
Featured photo courtesy of https://nonmonogamyconsultant.com/funny-memes/