Romantic Joy

Only a few more hours until I see him again.

We went out last Wednesday night. We met for drinks.

We had chatted intermittently on OKCupid for over a month. The infrequency of our chatter and the delay in meeting was more my fault than his. The holiday season was busy to the point of being overwhelming. Any chance I had to stay at home alone and decompress, I savored completely.

The holidays ended, though, and we made plans to get together. I did not have high hopes. I rarely do in situations such as these. I make plans to grab a drink. I know I can leave if I want to.

I didn’t want to.

We had a couple drinks, and neither of us wanted more alcohol, but we didn’t want to call it a night, either. We left the bar and went to a nearby restaurant for dinner, and sat together a while longer.

After dinner, he walked me to my car. I looped my arm through his elbow while we walked. It was nice.

We’ve texted a fair bit since then, and made plans to meet for dinner tonight.

It’s revelatory to feel this way. These feelings of looking forward to seeing him, of not feeling at all stressed about it, of being able to say to him, “Hey, I enjoy our chats and I’m looking forward to seeing you,” without it sending me into a tailspin.

It makes me realize there was something about the sexy professor that made me nervous. There was a reason my guard went up, and it wasn’t simply that the situation was new. I don’t yet know what the reason was, but on some level, I think I may have understood even though I enjoyed spending time with the sexy professor, I wasn’t feeling any rush of energy about the prospect of becoming involved with him.

With this new guy, there are those feelings. It will be fun, to explore that for a while. It is fun, to look forward to seeing him again.

Just a few more hours. Only a few more hours until I see him again.

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