Narcissistic Recovery: Bullied No More

I posted the featured image above on Facebook on this day two years ago. I didn’t know why, so I took a glance in my journal. Sure enough, it was the day the lawyer I’d hired communicated with the exN for the first time.

“Dear [redacted]: I have been retained by [redacted] to represent her in resolving the dispute between the two of you concerning the division of the equity in the home you co-own together. On behalf of my client, I would like to make the following settlement proposal…”

First letter from my attorney to the exN

Goddamn, even now I’m getting a thrill reading those lines and remembering how good it felt when the letter had been sent.

The exN wanted to continue bullying me after our relationship ended, up to and including making sure I got far less than I was due out of our house. On this day two years ago, I put on the hat and reminded him who he was dealing with. It was not the person he’d been in a relationship with for years; oh no, not her. He was dealing with the person I’d been before he and I met, and there was no way in hell that person was going to let him get away with the crap he was trying to pull.

“Some days you just have to put on the hat to remind them who they are dealing with.”

Two years ago today was the date my attorney first contacted the exN to let him know I’d hired representation. His attempts to bully me into accepting what he deemed a fair settlement on the house had backfired. My days of being bullied by him were long over. I’d known it for a while, and two years ago today was when he was forced to start recognizing it.

He might have seen me as uncooperative, a bitch, or just plain crazy. It didn’t matter. He was going to have to negotiate fairly, through lawyers, and wouldn’t have access to any of his usual tricks.

He tried to use his old tricks, of course. But that’s a story for another time.

Two years ago today is when the balance of power started to shift and become more equitable.

Man, I looked good in that hat.

“The older I get, the more I see how women are described as having gone mad, when what they’ve actually become is knowledgeable and powerful and fucking furious.”

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