Dream guilt

In a dream last night, I was chatting with an acquaintance and she asked me to bring a specific wine when I came for dinner that night, and said a few things about the elaborate dishes she was planning.

I hadn’t expected to have dinner with her that night and had other plans. I didn’t have any recollection of having spoken with her about doing dinner together anytime, in fact.

It was heartbreaking, this dream-conversation, telling this lovely woman that usually I’m very good at using my calendar but somehow this dinner hadn’t made it on there and I had other obligations I couldn’t get out of.

In all honesty, in the dream, the other obligations were definitely ones I could have gotten out of, but I didn’t want to.

This woman is someone I’ve known for over a decade and she’s so incredibly kind, and to see her face fall and her posture kind of crumble was awful. I felt terrible.

And then I woke up and felt horribly guilty and now I’m tempted to reach out to her to set something up so we see each other, except… Well, I kind of don’t want to, and that just makes me feel more horrible, but all of it is rather ridiculous because she’s that type of acquaintance I really only see at group events and we never reach out to each other directly or make plans together anyway.

So I’ll probably just drink more coffee, do one of the Bollywood Dance workout videos I’ve saved in my watch list, and then go to my laser hair removal appointment instead.

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