Why didn’t I buy groceries today?

No new posts yesterday or the day before. There wasn’t one this morning, either. But, tonight, I write. Because I didn’t buy groceries today.

Why didn’t I buy groceries today? I didn’t buy groceries because I pulled into the parking lot, parked my car, and couldn’t make myself get out of the car and go into the store. I just couldn’t.

I’ll do it tomorrow. I have tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s lunch sorted. I can put it off one more day.

It’s not unusual for me to procrastinate but for me to get as far as parking the car and then giving up is a first.

Something told me not to go in.

And as I pulled out of the parking lot and started the 5-minute drive home, I wondered if there was going to be a shooting at my supermarket.

Had I just become one of those amazing miracle cases one hears about? A Parkland student who decided to stay home sick on that one fateful day, even though they knew they were probably well enough to go to school and kind of just didn’t want to. The person who skipped the garlic festival because they go every year and they didn’t feel like it that day. That someone who decided to put off going to Walmart and do the back to school shopping the next weekend instead.

My friend’s kid goes to the high school where the football coach tackled an active shooter recently.

It gets closer and closer to home. At this point, it seems inevitable that one of these many shootings is going to happen to me someday.

Who knows. It could even happen at the local supermarket, the one I decided not to go to today. It could be happening there right now.

I want to write some well-thought-out diatribe about my frustration but I doubt I would do it well. Suffice it to say, it’s angering and stupid that we continue to see this problem get worse while those who are against gun control voice arguments against doing anything that continue to sound stranger and stranger.

None of it makes any sense to me. In every way, it seems the folks on the side of the aisle who most loudly profess to value the sanctity of life in practice do everything possible to show how little they value it.

Unless you’re a recently fertilized cluster of cells, your life has no value at all.

I don’t have any words of wisdom here. I know this isn’t a well-written post. I know I don’t have any ideas, or even a premise or a conclusion. This is angry rambling and that’s all it is.

I guess if I do have any conclusion at all here, any plea for sanity in this crazy world we’re finding ourselves immersed in, it’s a request for those of you who are over the age of 18 and citizens of the US. And it is this:

Vote Blue 2020.

Please.

Let’s unfuck America and actually make it great again.

“Unfuck America 2020. Vote blue, no matter who.”

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