Friday joy and emotional struggles with size loss

I’m still struggling against wanting to lose weight and I’m frustrated by it.

On some level I know my break from dating is in part because I don’t feel good about my appearance. I don’t want to feel like crap about how I look while I try to date.

I want to feel confident and sexy. While I am large, I don’t.

I don’t understand why I think being large is fine for other people but I can’t accept it in myself. I can’t reconcile this. And I hate how I judge myself for being big.

It feels like a failure, to dislike my size. And yet feeling I am this large feels like a failure, too.

It’s all very confusing and I’ve yet to make any headway with it.

However, it’s been a good week. I saw friends a couple of times. I tracked food intake every day and was within my calorie goals every day (although I’m still struggling to eat enough protein). I maintained good exercise habits.

Work was good this week, too. My VP returned on Monday after a month away and was impressed with my leadership and everything the team accomplished while he was gone.

Plus, there is a long weekend ahead and a social activities I am looking forward to.

Life is good. My biggest struggle right now is judging myself for disliking my body. This is a good thing.

Life is good.

3 comments

  1. Dearest I’m big too and had to make the decision to stop wasting my life away and made peace with it. To get on with life and live. I really hope that someday you will get there too. Much love snd kindness ❤️🌹

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