Friday joy and emotional struggles with size loss

I’m still struggling against wanting to lose weight and I’m frustrated by it.

On some level I know my break from dating is in part because I don’t feel good about my appearance. I don’t want to feel like crap about how I look while I try to date.

I want to feel confident and sexy. While I am large, I don’t.

I don’t understand why I think being large is fine for other people but I can’t accept it in myself. I can’t reconcile this. And I hate how I judge myself for being big.

It feels like a failure, to dislike my size. And yet feeling I am this large feels like a failure, too.

It’s all very confusing and I’ve yet to make any headway with it.

However, it’s been a good week. I saw friends a couple of times. I tracked food intake every day and was within my calorie goals every day (although I’m still struggling to eat enough protein). I maintained good exercise habits.

Work was good this week, too. My VP returned on Monday after a month away and was impressed with my leadership and everything the team accomplished while he was gone.

Plus, there is a long weekend ahead and a social activities I am looking forward to.

Life is good. My biggest struggle right now is judging myself for disliking my body. This is a good thing.

Life is good.


  1. Dearest I’m big too and had to make the decision to stop wasting my life away and made peace with it. To get on with life and live. I really hope that someday you will get there too. Much love snd kindness ❤️🌹

What are your thoughts on this post?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.