Planned dinner: taco chili.

It was already in the fridge, in a pre-portioned container. I made the chili the other day and it’s delicious. I’d eaten it for several meals already.

Actual dinner: a whole order of cheesy garlic breadsticks, half a 15″ pepperoni pizza, and half a bottle of wine.

Maybe it was the news about another shooting. Maybe it was because I’m menstruating and my cravings were out of control.

Maybe it was just because I wanted to.

I don’t know. Here’s what I do know.

When I entered my food intake into MyFitnessPal and hit the “complete diary” button, the app showed that if I ate this way every day I would weigh an amount ten pounds greater than my current weight.

Ten pounds. If I ate that exact same way every day.

Ten pounds isn’t all that much.

And I don’t eat that way every day.

This was reassuring and encouraging.

It was one lovely day. I was about to write that it was “just one bad day” before remembering that it didn’t feel bad at all. It was delightful.

And I highly recommend the new Four Weddings and a Funeral on Hulu. It’s quite enjoyable.

It wasn’t at all a bad day.

It was, however, an unusual day. I started using MyFitnessPal 12 days ago and have met my goals every day until yesterday.

Not only have I met my goals, but I have enjoyed doing so and have been feeling really good.

I am motivated to continue on this path. And I see no reason to feel guilty or ashamed for enjoying the hell out of a delightfully cozy lazy Saturday night.

There is no sense in seeing it as any sort of failure. It was gloriously indulgent and I loved it.