It’s My Birthday (+ Brisket Recipe)

I knew that when I started to lose some weight it would come straight out of my tits and my belly would stay the same, but the exN used to argue with me about that. He actually wanted to convince me that he knew my body’s patterns better than I did, even though he had never known me during any of my successful weight loss efforts. I never used to understand his need to be the authority on every topic, to be “right” about everything, to dominate me in every way possible.

Anyway, I’m now losing weight and my tits are disappearing and it’s annoying but also gratifying in a “Fuck you I knew I was right” bizarre kind of way.

In unrelated news, today is my birthday and I’m astonished about how little I care.

I have always cared about my birthday before. I’ve been upset by it. I’ve been excited about it. Ambivalent, though? I have never been ambivalent.

This year, I am not only ambivalent, but I keep forgetting it.

My “celebration” included going to see the Downton Abbey movie last night (it was a delight, in case you’re contemplating checking it out) and tonight I’m having a few people over for a potluck.

I love potlucks with close friends. They’re a much-needed excuse for me to actually do some tidying up, then I get to stay home and be comfy while people bring me food. It’s the best.

This time, I’m making my stepmother’s brisket recipe. My friends love this recipe. It’s a hit whenever I make it, and since I’ll be home all day it’s the perfect thing to make.

Here it is.


  • 3-5 pound center-cut brisket
  • 1 15 oz can cranberry sauce (whole berry, not the jelly kind)
  • 1 packet Lipton Onion soup mix (strange but true)


  • Combine the onion soup mix and cranberry sauce and let sit for several hours or overnight. (I usually double or triple the sauce because it's so good!)
  • Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
  • Braise the brisket on both sides on the stovetop.
  • In a roasting pan, place half the onion and cranberry mix. Place the brisket on top of the mixture.
  • Place the remainder of the sauce over the top of the brisket. Cover tightly with tin foil.
  • Cook in a 325-degree oven for 3-4 hours.
  • Check after 3 hours with a fork to see if it is tender.


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