Reconnecting with an old friend

I bought a silicone egg bite mold and made eggs last night in my instant pot.

I love hard boiled eggs but, as easy as they are to make, I never get around to doing it. So, I fry eggs for my breakfast every morning.

Making eggs in the silicone mold was perfect. Fast, easy, and this morning I had a fac-similé of hard-boiled eggs already peeled and waiting for me to eat.

The end result is I’m now sitting on the chaise with coffee and cats fifteen minutes earlier than usual. This pleases me.

This is my view as I write.

I’m seeing an old friend this evening. We were pretty close many years ago (my god, has it been ten years? I think it’s been ten years!). When he became romantically involved with someone outside our group of friends we pretty much never saw him again.

At some point, he and his person moved away together. He did make a point of getting the old gang together for one last hang out before he left, but even then, it had been ages since we’d seen him last.

The degree to which my memory is absolutely awful is legendary. I know I’ve seen him a couple of times since he moved away, but I don’t recall when. I’m fairly sure it’s been no more than two times, but I haven’t a clue how recent the last one was. Five years ago, maybe? I think it was before I met the Narcissist, anyway.

He and I haven’t communicated in years. I think others in our set were better at keeping up with what he was up to, via Facebook posts and such. I have a vague recollection of hearing he had moved to another destination for a while, and perhaps then somewhere else, as well?

But now, he has moved back here, and he and I are getting together for drinks tonight, and I have no idea why I’m nervous.

No, he and I were never romantically or physically involved, nor was there ever any sort of flirtatious vibe between us. It has nothing to do with anything like that.

He’s someone I respect and, in many ways, wish I were more like. There’s something grounded and sure about him. He’s insightful in a way that can be almost disconcerting at times. He sees people better than most.

Is it that he’s unkind in his assessment of others? Am I fearing judgment, or worried I will be gossipped about?

I don’t recall if that’s his nature, but perhaps that’s part of why I’m nervous about seeing him?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to it in spite of the anxiety. The anxiety is at a low level. It’s not overwhelming. It’s only slightly higher than the anxiety I always feel before any social occasion.

I’m sure a large part of it is simply that I haven’t seen him in so long and I don’t know what to expect. Not knowing what to expect is definitely something that makes me feel anxious.

I am uneasy with the unknown, uncomfortable with surprises.

It will be lovely to see him though, I’m sure. I doubt we’ll ever be as close as we once were. I’m uncertain how much of our past connection was friendship and how much was that we were good drinking buddies for one another.

Neither of us socialize or drink the way we did ten years ago. That’s a conversation I definitely recall having with him at one point. Good lord, we were out of control back then. All of us were. We’ve moved on from that stage of our lives and are far steadier now.

There may be a new friendship to be found with him, a new type of relationship that might evolve. Or, it may be incredibly awkward to try to hang out, and not something we choose to do again frequently.

Regardless, I’m looking forward to finding out. I’m looking forward to seeing him. Plus, the place where we’re meeting is supposed to have good food, so if nothing else at least there’s that!

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