Thanksgiving and taking stock of 2019

It’s been a shit few years or so. 2019 is the first one that’s ending on a true, sustainable upswing.

It’s Thanksgiving week, and I am thinking of all the things for which I am thankful. A friend commented the other day that 2019 has been the year of Suzanne, and I realized she was right. After the dumpster fire the past few years have been, this year has been pretty damn great.

In 2015, my relationship started turning to shit. The year beat me down. I didn’t have the energy to celebrate NYE with friends according to our annual traditions. I sat by the fire in the living room and read all night. The Narcissist sat in the basement enjoying the entertainment center. I remember going downstairs and trying to kiss him or something at midnight. It was awkward and unpleasant.

In 2016, we broke up. Most of the year was awful.

In 2017 I had the logistics of the breakup to contend with. Settling the buyout of our house, buying a new home, moving. None of these things were easy. Once it was over, I could let go of the state of heightened adrenaline I’d lived in for so long. I crashed and fell into a deep depression.

In 2018 the depression continued, but I started to get a handle on it. I emerged from my cocoon. I started dating again.

And then, 2019. 2019 has been quite a year.

I fulfilled a lifelong fantasy. I went to France and traversed around various regions of the country. My three weeks there was a dream come true. (Itinerary: Twenty-two days by train in France)

Early in the year, I met not one, but two pretty terrific romantic interests. While the romances did fizzle I have been lucky enough to remain friends with one of them. (Post-vacation romance update)

I saw my baby brother marry his wonderful partner at a gorgeous ceremony and reception. I felt the joy of seeing two people I love glowing with happiness.

I started getting a handle on my depressive swings. I realized the seasonal cycle of them and the causes. I started taking proactive steps to mitigate their reoccurrence. Depression hit me hard all summer. I’m now on a good path so it doesn’t happen again next year. (Anxious Happiness: How Long Will It Last?)

I adjusted ADHD meds and antidepressants a few times and have hit on dosages of each that are working well. (ADHD and me)

I learned the cause of my chronic hip and back pain. There is now a solution. Thus, I am working towards actual healing instead of never-ending pain avoidance. (Finally! A Relief From Pain!)

I gained control of my unhealthy relationship with food and, in doing so, have lost 15 pounds. I am, as I write this, halfway to my 30-pound goal. (What I’ve Learned From Two Weeks Using MyFitnessPal)

I worked with my roommate to encourage him to move out. Once again, I have a guest bedroom, which I am excited and grateful about. (Tomorrow’s post will be more about this. I’m so excited about decorating!)

And, as of January 1st, my salary is going to increase. (Finding Courage To Ask For A Raise

We’re entering the holiday season now. I imagine it will have its ups and downs, as it always does, and as the whole year did.

Overall, though, 2019 has felt like less of a dumpster fire than the previous few years. I am doing well. I like the path I am on. I am sure I will continue to need to tweak various things about it, but I am happy with how things are going right now.

Happy Thanksgiving, all.

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