This holiday season was weird and I want to make some notes to refer back to next year.
I cared less about it than I have in the past. I assume this is because of the Wellbutrin. My moods are more even. Highs that used to feel ultra high are far less intense. This took some of the magic away from the holiday season.
I was sad that almost every day felt so normal.
Cheesy movies didn’t have the same appeal as in the past. Alcohol and unhealthy food didn’t change my spirits; I realize now I tried hard to use both for that purpose.
Perhaps it was because I didn’t crave an escape from normalcy as I have in previous years.
The lesson to take away is to not try as hard next year. Each seasonal event I look forward to was just as fun as it’s always been, but in between those events it’s useless to try to keep that energy forced and flowing.
The in between days are just normal days, and clinging to normalcy, reveling in it, would’ve served me well.
Next year, I should keep eating healthy meals as frequently as possible. I should continue limiting my alcohol intake to social events as I usually do. I should keep my sleep schedule normal. I should even, perhaps, take less time off.
Today, I will take down the tree and put away the decorations. I’m not even a little sad to put my living room to rights. It will feel like I’m getting my home back.
Christmas is wonderful, but overdoing things when it doesn’t align with one’s mood is not the right way to go. And now, I am okay saying goodbye to the holiday season and moving forward towards whatever will come next.