Day 15: Self-Esteem

It has come to my attention, yet again, that my self-esteem could use some work. This is common enough that it shouldn’t continue to surprise me. And yet, here we are. My low self-esteem has once again been challenged, and once again I am surprised.

This particular time stemmed from a misunderstanding. Someone mentioned an event that had taken place. The event was large and fun, and they told me what a wonderful time it had been.

I don’t know if I would have attended this event had I known of it, but I was hurt I hadn’t been included in the guest list.

That was the end of the conversation. I left the exchange feeling sad and a tad bewildered about having been excluded.

This conversation took place over a month or so ago. Today, in the context of a different exchange, I suddenly saw the previous one in a new light.

The person had not been talking about an event that had occurred over the previous weekend, as I originally thought. With great embarrassment and humility, I realized the event they were speaking of was one that had taken place many years earlier.

The event was, in fact, one in which I had been in attendance. Not only had I been there, but I had been the host. It was I who had chosen the venue, who had invited the large group out for a raucous good time.

My low self-esteem had caused me to, once again, jump to false conclusions. The person I was speaking with was not telling me about an event to which I had been excluded. They were reminiscing with joy about an event I had coordinated years earlier.

I really need to work on my self-esteem.

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