This image was posted in a travel group I belong to and it struck a chord in a huge way: It's me! My "low tire pressure" light on my dash has been on for a few days now and I can't bring myself to do a thing about it. Seriously. The idea of putting some … Continue reading Anxiety About Pressure
Is there such a thing as recovery from Narcissistic Abuse? Is it even possible? I keep thinking I'm there and that I've recovered. I've posted about it. I've had long periods of time where I thought I might be back to normal again. I wrote a post about journaling a couple of weeks ago. I … Continue reading Is There Such A Thing As Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?
No new posts yesterday or the day before. There wasn't one this morning, either. But, tonight, I write. Because I didn't buy groceries today. Why didn't I buy groceries today? I didn't buy groceries because I pulled into the parking lot, parked my car, and couldn't make myself get out of the car and go … Continue reading Why didn’t I buy groceries today?
It's Friday, which means it's time to take stock of this past week and think about the good things the week brought. It's a feel-good exercise to help me enter the weekend with positive intentions. So, here's my "joyful things" list for this week. Feel free to post yours in the comments below. Lack of … Continue reading Friday Joy: 8/2/19
It was just one date. One date, a few weeks of messaging, and the hope of finding some joy in each other for a while. That hope is now gone. So it goes sometimes. My Nana used to say, "Oh well. Next!" It always made me laugh. She meant, I'm sure, that it's time to … Continue reading I break for joy
I received the following in a text from Chris yesterday: "I'm sorry but I have to cancel again. I'm just getting the feeling that my life is too messy to make plans right now. I'm sorry for being such a flake." And thus the burgeoning romance ends. Was it something I did? Something I said? … Continue reading “We’re out of romance, how about just the anxiety?”
Chris and I are going out again on Thursday and he's sending all the right signals. He's looking forward to seeing me. He can't wait. He's sorry it's taken so long. When I thought I might not hear from him and we might not have a second date I was sad but able to handle … Continue reading I’ll have the romance with the anxiety on the side, please
Every year in July, my company holds a conference. Clients fly in from around the world for three days of lectures, workshops, training, and food and entertainment. For eight or so years, it's been my responsibility to run one of the three arms of the conference. Organizing the sessions and the presenters, getting clients to … Continue reading A Relief From Responsibilities
Getting from Lyon to Chamonix by train was no laughing matter, and today's anxiety attacks proved it. My excitement about getting up into the Alps was sky high (heh), but to get here required four different trains. Two of the transfers were less than 5 minutes each. I was nervous as hell about this, and … Continue reading Day 17: Getting To Chamonix-Mont-Blanc By Train Is Not For The Weak
In a dream last night, I was chatting with an acquaintance and she asked me to bring a specific wine when I came for dinner that night, and said a few things about the elaborate dishes she was planning. I hadn't expected to have dinner with her that night and had other plans. I didn't … Continue reading Dream guilt
It appears this was the week I decided to use my oven again. My oven is used so infrequently that I've considered simply getting rid of it, in favor of more storage and counter space. There was an episode of Sex and the City where Samantha told everyone she used her oven for storing sweaters. … Continue reading Weekly Recipe Round-Up: Holy Crap, My Oven Works?
You've heard of speed reading? This is going to be speed writing. I overslept and then realized I hadn't set up a post to be published today, so I'm giving myself ten minutes to get one out. It's now 6:50 AM. I'm going to hit publish at 7 AM. Assume there are going to be … Continue reading Friday Joy: 7/26/19
Therapy was really good this week. One of the many points discussed was how much I hate how badly I wish I had men in my life right now. I don't want to be someone who hates being alone. Dating should be a lovely extra in life, icing on a cake, so to speak. I've … Continue reading There’s no shame in loneliness (but I’m excited about a date with Chris anyway)
Old Self would have problem-solved these feelings of sadness I've been experiencing in recent months far better than New Self is doing. Old Self would have come up with a game plan and concrete action steps. Old Self would have project managed the shit out of it. New Self has this idea that the activities … Continue reading Depression and Exercise
Chris texted me. I'm floored to have heard from him and am struggling to think of a response. His message popped up on my phone yesterday afternoon. I'm doing pretty good. Thank you for asking. My sibs are in town now, so, sort of a shit show here :). Mom is suffering from kidney troubles, … Continue reading A Text from Chris