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Narcissistic Abuse

Surprise! I like brandy.

3 Dec 20192 Dec 2019 / atwistonlife / Leave a comment

It appears I like brandy. This is a surprise to me. I recall having tried brandy before, with eggnog. The Narcissist was a huge fan and would always have some of each in the house at this time of year. I tried it but never developed a taste for it. One of the friends who … Continue reading Surprise! I like brandy.

Ghosts of Christmas Past and Present

2 Dec 20191 Dec 2019 / atwistonlife / Leave a comment

It is Sunday evening of Thanksgiving weekend and I have a glass of eggnog heavily dosed with brandy beside me. My Christmas tree was bought and decorated this weekend. I am admiring it as I type. Oliver the Cat is unimpressed A couple of friends helped me with the tree. We decorated while sipping a … Continue reading Ghosts of Christmas Past and Present

It’s okay to still be angry

7 Nov 20197 Nov 2019 / atwistonlife / Leave a comment

Even years after going no contact the abuser will pop into your head sometimes. And it's okay to feel a burst of rage at them. It's okay to feel fury about all they did and all you've struggled to recover from. It's okay to have those moments. And it's reasonable and acceptable to lament their … Continue reading It’s okay to still be angry

Thoughts on trying to date again

9 Oct 20198 Oct 2019 / atwistonlife / Leave a comment

Today is day 4 of avoiding tomatoes and I'm feeling a ton better. Not 100%, but much better than I was. I think I might also be feeling a bit lonely for male companionship. I saw Cookie last Thursday and his hugs may have triggered something. Some memory of how nice it is to feel … Continue reading Thoughts on trying to date again

Appreciating Stillness

5 Oct 20194 Oct 2019 / atwistonlife / 1 Comment

I spent my Friday night reading and listening to the sound of rain pounding down outside my windows. No screens. No music. No TV. (Benefits of a Digital or Screen Detox for ADHD Symptoms) Just the tap tap tap tap tap of raindrops on the metal of my oven vent and the shhhhh of water … Continue reading Appreciating Stillness

Story ideas: imagined interactions

5 Sep 20194 Sep 2019 / atwistonlife / Leave a comment

I still have conversations in my head with the exN a lot. (exN = the narcissistic ex-partner, otherwise referred to as, "the Narcissist.") Often, I inadvertently fantasize about having to deal with him in some situation or another. Perhaps, he's sick. Or perhaps, it's some other reason. Somehow, he's in need and it's on me … Continue reading Story ideas: imagined interactions

The Horrible Hilarious Herb Scissors Happenstance

31 Aug 201931 Aug 2019 / atwistonlife / Leave a comment

Day of joy post: June 13, 2017 I am unpacking in my new home. My things have been in storage for two months. It has been two months since I left the home we owned together and moved in with my friends. And now, I am in my new condo, and I am making my … Continue reading The Horrible Hilarious Herb Scissors Happenstance

Is There Such A Thing As Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?

6 Aug 20195 Aug 2019 / atwistonlife / 5 Comments

Is there such a thing as recovery from Narcissistic Abuse? Is it even possible? I keep thinking I'm there and that I've recovered. I've posted about it. I've had long periods of time where I thought I might be back to normal again. I wrote a post about journaling a couple of weeks ago. I … Continue reading Is There Such A Thing As Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?

Finally, No Contact

13 May 201913 May 2019 / atwistonlife / 5 Comments

It's been eight months since the day he threatened violence if I didn't obey him, and since the day I ended our relationship. Two days ago, I was finally able to go no contact.

Two years removed

31 Mar 20198 Jun 2019 / atwistonlife / Leave a comment

On this day in 2017: 8am: Set self up on couch, start work. 10:00am: Leave for escrow company to go sign the deed to the house over to the ex. 10:30am: Have breakdown at escrow company, force a lovely and very kind escrow company employee to suffer through a crazy woman's sobbing fit and inability … Continue reading Two years removed

Celebrating Past Successes

11 Mar 201910 Mar 2019 / atwistonlife / Leave a comment

A wallop right in the gut hit me out of the blue the other day. Exactly two years prior, the Narcissist and I agreed on the terms for him buying me out of our house.   The Facebook memory brought memories of the stress and emotional anguish that followed. It was only the first milestone … Continue reading Celebrating Past Successes

Wait, There Are People Who Aren’t Jerks? — part deux

8 Mar 20197 Mar 2019 / atwistonlife / Leave a comment

At the beginning of a relationship, things should feel good. If something feels off, it's worth noticing.

Narcissistic Recovery: Bullied No More

22 Feb 201922 Feb 2019 / atwistonlife / Leave a comment

Two years ago today is when the balance of power with the #exN started to shift. Man, did it feel good.

Narcissistic Recovery: And then one day, you feel okay.

20 Feb 201919 Feb 2019 / atwistonlife / 2 Comments

If they tried to assert their dominance like they used to, you wouldn't care anymore. You would see them for who they are; a scared, frightened, cowardly soul who is unable to confront the reality of their existence.

Wait, There Are People Who Aren’t Jerks?

16 Feb 201916 Feb 2019 / atwistonlife / 2 Comments

It's sad, and yet I suppose not terribly surprising, that I'm not used to an appropriate reaction to, "Something you do is hurting my feelings."

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