It’s sad, and yet I suppose not terribly surprising, that I’m not used to an appropriate reaction to, “Something you do is hurting my feelings.”
Category: Narcissistic Abuse
Depression Returns
It feels utterly conditional. I am often very anxious about him, thinking there’s a decent chance I’ll never hear from him again, that something I say or do might all too easily cause him to disappear forever.
Cookie, and Calming an Anxious Attachment Style
Instead of, “Hey, this is nice. How lovely,” the heart screams, “Let’s think about how awful it will feel if this ends.”
Update: The sexy professor
“Are you okay? Your voice… You sounded a little tired or something. I thought I heard a little sigh there.”
I joked, “Well, so much for me having an acting career.”
Regrets
For the first time in ages, I have a Saturday with nothing on my calendar. One of the things that kept me so busy recently
Love Doesn’t Mean Leaning
After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning And
PTSD and the Galway Guy
The date of my London and Ireland trip quickly approaches and with it, some nasty anxiety about seeing the Galway Guy. After 20 years of
Narcissist Recovery: Boldness and the Return of Confidence
The Narcissist told me I was nothing. He led me to believe I was unintelligent, lacked motivation, wasn’t attractive or sexy, wasn’t pleasant to be around. He succeeded, for a long time. Until I started wondering why he needed to battle me so. #Narcissist
Resolving a new trigger: My brother’s engagement
My brother proposed to his girlfriend a few weeks ago. When I first was informed, my immediate reaction was overwhelming happiness. Then, suddenly and unexpectedly,
Narcissistic Recovery: Don’t Call Me Snowflake
Have you listened to the new Decemberists album, “I’ll Be Your Girl,” yet? I highly recommend doing so. Particularly the song, “Everything is Awful.” Because,
Narcissistic Recovery: Yoga
I stayed in downward dog today for the entirety of the time the instructor asked. I took each deep breath. I centered myself physically and
Depression and Narcissistic Recovery: Does Blogging Help?
Too many of us keep ourselves hidden. Too many of us learned it’s what life requires of us. Don’t be sensitive. Don’t have big emotions. Push your feelings away. Maybe, just maybe, I want to show my writing to the world because I want to scream a big hearty FUCK THAT to all those notions and to inspire others to do the same.
Letter from my Older Self to my Current Self
Dear Current Self, It’s been thirty years since we lived with the Narcissist. Thirty years have gone by. The whole horrible experience seems like such
Letter to a Younger Self
My wish for you is that you soften with age. You who wears your dark eyeliner and black clothing and chunky silver jewelry as armor, allowing
Narcissistic Recovery: Cognitive Function
I’ve been very frustrated with my writing lately. Whenever I sit down to write I have a blog post as a goal. I’ve lost my