At the beginning of a relationship, things should feel good. If something feels off, it’s worth noticing.
Two years ago today is when the balance of power with the #exN started to shift. Man, did it feel good.
If they tried to assert their dominance like they used to, you wouldn’t care anymore. You would see them for who they are; a scared, frightened, cowardly soul who is unable to confront the reality of their existence.
It’s sad, and yet I suppose not terribly surprising, that I’m not used to an appropriate reaction to, “Something you do is hurting my feelings.”
It feels utterly conditional. I am often very anxious about him, thinking there’s a decent chance I’ll never hear from him again, that something I say or do might all too easily cause him to disappear forever.
Instead of, “Hey, this is nice. How lovely,” the heart screams, “Let’s think about how awful it will feel if this ends.”