It’s been a shit few years or so. 2019 is the first one that’s ending on a true, sustainable upswing. It’s Thanksgiving week, and I am thinking of all the things for which I am thankful. A friend commented the other day that 2019 has been the year of Suzanne, and I realized she was … Continue reading Thanksgiving and taking stock of 2019
anxious
Relaxing about appearances
People often don't understand how much preparation and forethought I put into how I look for random gatherings and events. It isn't consistent. It varies according to my mood and anxiety level. If I'm going to the house of a close friend to watch a movie, or to a casual brunch, or to grab coffee … Continue reading Relaxing about appearances
Reconnecting with an old friend
I bought a silicone egg bite mold and made eggs last night in my instant pot. I love hard boiled eggs but, as easy as they are to make, I never get around to doing it. So, I fry eggs for my breakfast every morning. Making eggs in the silicone mold was perfect. Fast, easy, … Continue reading Reconnecting with an old friend
ADHD and not wanting to work
As I write this, it's Monday. It's Monday and I hate it. I want more weekend. I wish I didn't have to go to work for money. Or work at all, if I'm being honest. This isn't something I've ever been honest about with myself or anyone else. I've always felt horrible and guilty for … Continue reading ADHD and not wanting to work
Digital Detox Update: Books! So Many Books!
If you've never tried a digital detox, even a small one, I highly recommend doing so, particularly if, like me, you are often anxious and you have been diagnosed with ADHD. Removing screens from my existence for the duration of my evenings is a delight. I am calmer. My mind is productively engaged rather than … Continue reading Digital Detox Update: Books! So Many Books!
Anxious Happiness: How Long Will It Last?
It's counterintuitive to be afraid of being in a good mood. I know for other people, being in a good mood is just a normal thing. For me, it comes so rarely that it causes anxiety. I know that it is a fleeting thing. I don't know how long it is going to last. Inevitably, … Continue reading Anxious Happiness: How Long Will It Last?
On exercise, depression, anxiety, and laziness
Thoughts on exercise, one month ago today It's 6:00 AM. I have my coffee beside me and my cat, Abigail, curled up on my lap. It's cool in my house, far cooler than it's been these past few days. When I rose out of bed I ditched my lightweight summer nightgown and threw on a … Continue reading On exercise, depression, anxiety, and laziness
It’s Not Me, It’s Him
It's a feeling about a fantasy scenario. It's a big feeling, an intense feeling, and it's about a nonexistent situation.
Cookie, and Calming an Anxious Attachment Style
Instead of, “Hey, this is nice. How lovely,” the heart screams, “Let’s think about how awful it will feel if this ends.”
First Date
I went on my first Tinder date tonight. I signed up on Saturday. Today is Monday. I also have a date lined up for tomorrow. And Friday. And next Monday. I probably would have dates on Wednesday and Thursday, too, except I already have plans on those nights. I can't believe I was nervous about … Continue reading First Date