As mentioned yesterday (You Can't Go Back [update]), my memory is horrible. I remember mentioning it yesterday. I do not, however, remember writing about ADHD on this blog before now. Since I have a terrible memory, I did a search for ADHD. On my own blog. To find out if I've written about ADHD. Because … Continue reading ADHD and me
Autumn is a new beginning. Not just because of the ingrained rhythm of the beginning of the school year, but also, the Jewish New Year and my birthday. Everything starts fresh in autumn. Plus, autumn brings cooler temperatures and clothing styles I am more comfortable in. Nothing puts me in a good mood quite like … Continue reading Glad To Live in a World with Octobers
It's counterintuitive to be afraid of being in a good mood. I know for other people, being in a good mood is just a normal thing. For me, it comes so rarely that it causes anxiety. I know that it is a fleeting thing. I don't know how long it is going to last. Inevitably, … Continue reading Anxious Happiness: How Long Will It Last?
This week is going to be busy. And I'm not stressed about that. In fact, I'm thrilled. It is the last week before my boss returns from a month-long vacation. There is a ton that I want to have finished before his return. I know I will conquer it. I have plans every night this … Continue reading Busy but Good
Thoughts on exercise, one month ago today It's 6:00 AM. I have my coffee beside me and my cat, Abigail, curled up on my lap. It's cool in my house, far cooler than it's been these past few days. When I rose out of bed I ditched my lightweight summer nightgown and threw on a … Continue reading On exercise, depression, anxiety, and laziness
Old Self would have problem-solved these feelings of sadness I've been experiencing in recent months far better than New Self is doing. Old Self would have come up with a game plan and concrete action steps. Old Self would have project managed the shit out of it. New Self has this idea that the activities … Continue reading Depression and Exercise
Chris texted me. I'm floored to have heard from him and am struggling to think of a response. His message popped up on my phone yesterday afternoon. I'm doing pretty good. Thank you for asking. My sibs are in town now, so, sort of a shit show here :). Mom is suffering from kidney troubles, … Continue reading A Text from Chris
Some of the guys who contact me on OKCupid are hilariously awful. Many are not. But the awful ones are usually more fun to talk about...
Suppressed emotions during depression cause a fear of writing. Depression and writer's block go hand-in-hand. It isn't until the suppressed emotions are uncovered and addressed that a depressive spell lifts and writing can begin again.
With solo travel comes a type of loneliness that is freeing, but crushing. The need for connection is biological. It's how we're wired. And we wind up lacking it.
It feels utterly conditional. I am often very anxious about him, thinking there's a decent chance I'll never hear from him again, that something I say or do might all too easily cause him to disappear forever.
Fucking hormones. Ever since I started Wellbutrin I'm way more in touch with the emotional rollercoaster caused by them, which is great... Mostly. Right now, I'm sitting with my cats enjoying my morning coffee and sobbing copiously over the most recent Hope for Paws video. https://youtu.be/iPKk5vPfKiM Other things I have also sobbed/had huge emotions about … Continue reading Big! Emotions!
I woke up at 6am last Saturday feeling well rested and ready to rise. It appeared to be the middle of the night. I woke because I was a little too warm. I thought I was going to turn the heat down and go back to sleep. Instead, I realized I felt awake and alert … Continue reading Depression update: Wellbutrin
For the first time in ages, I have a Saturday with nothing on my calendar. One of the things that kept me so busy recently was a writing workshop on Creative Nonfiction. It was absolutely a delight, but it was also emotionally draining. The primary piece I submitted for critique was a longer, more thorough … Continue reading Regrets
It's so amazing and rare to find someone you enjoy traveling with. It's even more amazing to spend ten straight days together, then miss the person when you part. We met in college, in the fall of 1998. By the end of the semester, when he left to go home to Ireland for a month … Continue reading Depression’s Lies and Loveability (Travel Revelations)