Day of joy post: June 13, 2017 I am unpacking in my new home. My things have been in storage for two months. It has been two months since I left the home we owned together and moved in with my friends. And now, I am in my new condo, and I am making my … Continue reading The Horrible Hilarious Herb Scissors Happenstance
life after narcissism
Narcissist Recovery: Boldness and the Return of Confidence
The Narcissist told me I was nothing. He led me to believe I was unintelligent, lacked motivation, wasn't attractive or sexy, wasn't pleasant to be around. He succeeded, for a long time. Until I started wondering why he needed to battle me so. #Narcissist
Letter from my Older Self to my Current Self
Dear Current Self, It's been thirty years since we lived with the Narcissist. Thirty years have gone by. The whole horrible experience seems like such a blip now. In the grand scheme of things, the relationship only lasted a very brief period of time. But those are the views of a 70-year-old. It is not … Continue reading Letter from my Older Self to my Current Self
Vacationing Without the Narcissist
Oh, vacations. Vacations were when it was the two of us and we would feel more connected, more bonded. Right? Yet that's never how it would actually happen. The Narcissist and I went to Hawaii's Big Island in the fall of 2016. It's on my mind lately as I watch the devastation caused by the … Continue reading Vacationing Without the Narcissist
Reflections After a Year of No Contact
I'm not healed yet, but I'm better than I once was. A year ago yesterday I wrote a long post about having made it through the yuck and being able to go no contact. I published it here yesterday. It's been a full year of not having the Narcissist in my life but he's still … Continue reading Reflections After a Year of No Contact
Astrology and Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse
I am a Virgo Sun (Libra cusp), Leo Moon, Cancer rising. To those in the know about astrology, this describes many important things about my personality. This is how I present to the world and who I am inside. It also illuminates my strengths and my challenges as I recover from Narcissistic Abuse. These are … Continue reading Astrology and Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic Recovery: Move-Out Day
I moved out of our house one year ago today. One year ago was the last time I sat on my old red couch. It was the last time I enjoyed the living room with the bay window, the fireplace, and the walls I'd painted the most soothing light greyish blue. I miss the light … Continue reading Narcissistic Recovery: Move-Out Day
Relationships, Revelations, and Healing
I looked at the new supply's Facebook profile again yesterday morning. I look every once in a while with the hope I'll see some indication she has ended her relationship with the Narcissist. I think of her with less and less frequency as time goes by, but always with a little internal prayer for the … Continue reading Relationships, Revelations, and Healing
Narcissistic Recovery: PTSD Triggers
I am triggered and my mental and emotional state respond accordingly. I am experiencing frustration with a client. Their behavior is reopening wounds that are already raw and irritated. Their behavior feels like being in a relationship with the Narcissist. No matter how many different ways I express to this client what their expectations should … Continue reading Narcissistic Recovery: PTSD Triggers
We Made History: Women’s Rights March, 2017
This is a throwback post; an entry from my journal from January 22, 2017. "Am in the air right now, flying back from DC. "We made history yesterday. Largest protest in US history. And, suddenly, news broadcasts have changed. The word 'liar' is finally being used. The term 'gaslighting' is being openly discussed. "I look … Continue reading We Made History: Women’s Rights March, 2017
Narcissistic Recovery: Behind the Mask
This anecdote dates back to July of 2017, when I first decided to give post-Narcissistic-relationship dating a shot. I quickly decided dating was a miserable endeavor and I'd be far better served by devoting energy to self-improvement and healing. I was only a month into no contact with the Narcissist and I really wasn't ready … Continue reading Narcissistic Recovery: Behind the Mask
Narcissistic Recovery: Today was our anniversary
Today would have been our five year anniversary. And honestly, I couldn't have given any less of a fuck about it.
Narcissistic Recovery: Dream Journal
I am back east visiting family for the week and there are, as expected, things happening that are triggering memories of the years with the Narcissist. The trip, despite this, has been thoroughly enjoyable. My stepsister and her kids left yesterday morning. My sister, brother-in-law, nephew, and my brother-in-law's parents left this morning. It was … Continue reading Narcissistic Recovery: Dream Journal
Realizing Joy While Triggered
Greetings from somewhere above the middle of the United States. I’m on my way back east to spend Passover with my family. On the one hand, I know I will enjoy it. I know a week surrounded by my loved ones will be good for me. I know staying with my father and stepmother will … Continue reading Realizing Joy While Triggered
The Great Toothpaste Incident of 2017
One year ago yesterday was The Great Toothpaste Incident of 2017, when the Narcissist decided I was no longer deserving of toothpaste. March 27, 2017. Having one of those mornings where the attempts to stay joyful and appreciative feel impossible. I thought we'd maxed out on possible pettiness during the holidays when he moved the … Continue reading The Great Toothpaste Incident of 2017