Cleaning out a closet is all well and good, but what comes next? The before and after photos are enviable but what you don't see is what's going on just out of frame. What is it that you aren't seeing? Why, all the piles of shit that aren't going back into the closet, of course. … Continue reading Days 12 & 13: The Really F*cking Hard Stuff
It's easy to lose sight of good things when in the midst of a depressive spell. Please remember this: one can be thankful without feeling happy. I am thankful for my friendships. For the roof over my head, the hot water and heat that both work, the clothes I wear, the privileged life I lead. … Continue reading Depression and… feeling thankful?
Yesterday morning, I bemoaned not having a partner to help me while I'm laid up with back pain. Later in the day, I found a solution. I hired someone from taskrabbit to come help me with some chores. I found a solution I'm comfortable with, and I'm proud of this. Here is what I wrote … Continue reading Taking care of business
TGIF. This whole week has been an endless slog through horrible exhaustion. The clocks changing seem to impact me differently than others. I don't understand it. I was more tired each day than I was the day before and I'm desperately hoping this weekend will allow me to fully adjust to our new time zone. … Continue reading Time change lag and executive dysfunction
I'm still struggling against wanting to lose weight and I'm frustrated by it. On some level I know my break from dating is in part because I don't feel good about my appearance. I don't want to feel like crap about how I look while I try to date. I want to feel confident and … Continue reading Friday joy and emotional struggles with size loss
Here's the thing about tracking my food intake: I'm learning that eating within a certain calorie range really isn't all that difficult for me. Take today, for example. I knew I was going to hang out with a girlfriend tonight to celebrate her buying a house (YAY FOR HER!!!), and I planned for it. I … Continue reading What I’m learning by tracking my food intake (plus, a couple of new recipes)
Recently my overeating (and drinking) started bothering me again. I don't think I'm binge eating nearly as much as I used to, if at all. I don't remember the last time I felt completely out of control and ate until I was in pain. The book I wrote about, Intuitive Eating, really was a game-changer … Continue reading Thoughts on Overeating
This week is going to be busy. And I'm not stressed about that. In fact, I'm thrilled. It is the last week before my boss returns from a month-long vacation. There is a ton that I want to have finished before his return. I know I will conquer it. I have plans every night this … Continue reading Busy but Good
It's amazing the different ways different friends will respond when I'm not doing well. I'm in another depressive cycle, but this one feels different than others. It's deeper and darker, and I'm not fighting it as well as I've fought the others. Something has shifted. Depression is fighting harder. The battle has changed. I can … Continue reading Dear Depression: I will not be conquered.