Dad and Stepmom are the only people in the world I am fully myself with, and they are coming to visit. They will arrive on
Tag: narcissistic abuse
Ghosts of Christmas Past and Present
It is Sunday evening of Thanksgiving weekend and I have a glass of eggnog heavily dosed with brandy beside me. My Christmas tree was bought
It’s okay to still be angry
Even years after going no contact the abuser will pop into your head sometimes. And it’s okay to feel a burst of rage at them.
Story ideas: imagined interactions
I still have conversations in my head with the exN a lot. (exN = the narcissistic ex-partner, otherwise referred to as, “the Narcissist.”) Often, I
The Horrible Hilarious Herb Scissors Happenstance
Day of joy post: June 13, 2017 I am unpacking in my new home. My things have been in storage for two months. It has
Is There Such A Thing As Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?
Is there such a thing as recovery from Narcissistic Abuse? Is it even possible? I keep thinking I’m there and that I’ve recovered. I’ve posted
Finally, No Contact
It’s been eight months since the day he threatened violence if I didn’t obey him, and since the day I ended our relationship. Two days ago, I was finally able to go no contact.
Celebrating Past Successes
A wallop right in the gut hit me out of the blue the other day. Exactly two years prior, the Narcissist and I agreed on
Narcissistic Recovery: And then one day, you feel okay.
If they tried to assert their dominance like they used to, you wouldn’t care anymore. You would see them for who they are; a scared, frightened, cowardly soul who is unable to confront the reality of their existence.
Depression Returns
It feels utterly conditional. I am often very anxious about him, thinking there’s a decent chance I’ll never hear from him again, that something I say or do might all too easily cause him to disappear forever.
Update: The sexy professor
“Are you okay? Your voice… You sounded a little tired or something. I thought I heard a little sigh there.”
I joked, “Well, so much for me having an acting career.”
Dating Update: Trying to Move Forward from Trauma
The walls I’ve worked so hard to dismantle suddenly emerged from the ground on every side of me, and slammed closed with a massive clanging sound over my head. I was surrounded by heavy gray stone all around and above me. No doors, no windows, no light. Just me, huddled inside a cell of my own making, in self-enforced solitary confinement.
Regrets
For the first time in ages, I have a Saturday with nothing on my calendar. One of the things that kept me so busy recently
Love Doesn’t Mean Leaning
After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning And
Narcissist Recovery: Boldness and the Return of Confidence
The Narcissist told me I was nothing. He led me to believe I was unintelligent, lacked motivation, wasn’t attractive or sexy, wasn’t pleasant to be around. He succeeded, for a long time. Until I started wondering why he needed to battle me so. #Narcissist