At the beginning of a relationship, things should feel good. If something feels off, it’s worth noticing.
I’m still figuring out what I’m comfortable knowing about the dating lives of men I’m seeing. It’s an area where my newness to polyamory is noticeable to me.
It’s sad, and yet I suppose not terribly surprising, that I’m not used to an appropriate reaction to, “Something you do is hurting my feelings.”
It feels utterly conditional. I am often very anxious about him, thinking there’s a decent chance I’ll never hear from him again, that something I say or do might all too easily cause him to disappear forever.
It’s a feeling about a fantasy scenario. It’s a big feeling, an intense feeling, and it’s about a nonexistent situation.
Instead of, “Hey, this is nice. How lovely,” the heart screams, “Let’s think about how awful it will feel if this ends.”