It has come to my attention, yet again, that my self-esteem could use some work. This is common enough that it shouldn't continue to surprise me. And yet, here we are. My low self-esteem has once again been challenged, and once again I am surprised. This particular time stemmed from a misunderstanding. Someone mentioned an … Continue reading Day 15: Self-Esteem
self-awareness
Taking care of business
Yesterday morning, I bemoaned not having a partner to help me while I'm laid up with back pain. Later in the day, I found a solution. I hired someone from taskrabbit to come help me with some chores. I found a solution I'm comfortable with, and I'm proud of this. Here is what I wrote … Continue reading Taking care of business
Missing a Best Friend after a Break Up
Eight years ago this week I broke up with my best friend of twenty-five years. It had to be done. She had been verbally abusive and controlling when we were younger, and as we got older it became worse. This was true even though we lived on opposite sides of the country from one another. … Continue reading Missing a Best Friend after a Break Up
ADHD and me
As mentioned yesterday (You Can't Go Back [update]), my memory is horrible. I remember mentioning it yesterday. I do not, however, remember writing about ADHD on this blog before now. Since I have a terrible memory, I did a search for ADHD. On my own blog. To find out if I've written about ADHD. Because … Continue reading ADHD and me
Being an external processor
Some folks are able to sit with their thoughts and quietly come to conclusions and make sense of their life. I am the opposite of that. Always have been. This results in me talking to friends incessantly, usually via various messaging platforms but sometimes in person or on the phone, too. To be honest, I've … Continue reading Being an external processor
An exercise injury, yet again
I'm not overdoing anything. I'm stretching after each workout. I'm being gentle with my body and doing everything right. And yet, somehow, I've managed to hurt myself. Again. Like I always do. It's like my body just wasn't meant for exercise. Other people's are. Mine wants the couch and Chips Ahoy. The issue, this time, … Continue reading An exercise injury, yet again
Friday joy and emotional struggles with size loss
I'm still struggling against wanting to lose weight and I'm frustrated by it. On some level I know my break from dating is in part because I don't feel good about my appearance. I don't want to feel like crap about how I look while I try to date. I want to feel confident and … Continue reading Friday joy and emotional struggles with size loss
What I’m learning by tracking my food intake (plus, a couple of new recipes)
Here's the thing about tracking my food intake: I'm learning that eating within a certain calorie range really isn't all that difficult for me. Take today, for example. I knew I was going to hang out with a girlfriend tonight to celebrate her buying a house (YAY FOR HER!!!), and I planned for it. I … Continue reading What I’m learning by tracking my food intake (plus, a couple of new recipes)
Thoughts on Overeating
Recently my overeating (and drinking) started bothering me again. I don't think I'm binge eating nearly as much as I used to, if at all. I don't remember the last time I felt completely out of control and ate until I was in pain. The book I wrote about, Intuitive Eating, really was a game-changer … Continue reading Thoughts on Overeating
Achievement Unlocked: Exercise Level 2
Riddle me this: How is it that on a week when I was far busier than usual I managed to get in more workouts instead of fewer?I worked out on Sunday and wasn't planning to do so again until Thursday. But then, a girlfriend and I had time to kill before meeting another friend for … Continue reading Achievement Unlocked: Exercise Level 2
Depression Returns
It feels utterly conditional. I am often very anxious about him, thinking there's a decent chance I'll never hear from him again, that something I say or do might all too easily cause him to disappear forever.
Depression and Narcissistic Recovery: Does Blogging Help?
Too many of us keep ourselves hidden. Too many of us learned it's what life requires of us. Don't be sensitive. Don't have big emotions. Push your feelings away. Maybe, just maybe, I want to show my writing to the world because I want to scream a big hearty FUCK THAT to all those notions and to inspire others to do the same.
Astrology and Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse
I am a Virgo Sun (Libra cusp), Leo Moon, Cancer rising. To those in the know about astrology, this describes many important things about my personality. This is how I present to the world and who I am inside. It also illuminates my strengths and my challenges as I recover from Narcissistic Abuse. These are … Continue reading Astrology and Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse
Getting Control of Binge Eating
I know when I'm satiated by my meals. I understand, in the course of eating a meal, when that happens. Yet, I keep eating two to three times the amount that physically satisfies my needs. I'm sick of it. I weigh more than I've ever weighed in my life. My clothes hurt to wear. I'm … Continue reading Getting Control of Binge Eating
Depression, weight gain, and self hatred
The weather is getting warm out and it's time to put away the big long cozy sweaters I've been wrapped in all winter. For the past two days, I've been wearing outfits that show my shape. Yesterday I wore a t-shirt and a denim jacket with jeans. Several times through the course of the day … Continue reading Depression, weight gain, and self hatred