It's easy to lose sight of good things when in the midst of a depressive spell. Please remember this: one can be thankful without feeling happy. I am thankful for my friendships. For the roof over my head, the hot water and heat that both work, the clothes I wear, the privileged life I lead. … Continue reading Depression and… feeling thankful?
All week long, I've been unable to write. Usually, I set up blog posts at night so they will publish the next morning. If for whatever reason that can't happen, I'll knock something out early in the morning while I have my coffee. This week, I have had no ability to write. Or read, for … Continue reading Constant Exposure to Current Events is Harmful to Emotional Well-Being
I continue to be amazed by my lack of pain. Every movement is a joy and I am constantly on the verge of bursting into happy sobs. When I rise from a seated position... nothing. I stand at the kitchen counter... and I'm totally fine. Bending to pick something up? No problem. It's consuming, these … Continue reading Flabbergasted and Joyous
All week I've been in unbelievable pain. My hip and lower back were acting up again. It's something that has always bothered me and it has gotten worse with age. I always assumed the root cause was something that was my fault. This was what I was told by various medical professionals. It was my … Continue reading Finally! A Relief From Pain!
Yesterday morning, I bemoaned not having a partner to help me while I'm laid up with back pain. Later in the day, I found a solution. I hired someone from taskrabbit to come help me with some chores. I found a solution I'm comfortable with, and I'm proud of this. Here is what I wrote … Continue reading Taking care of business
"Blinding pain" is one of those expressions one reads and hopes to never fully understand. It's an apt description, though. There is a certain degree of pain that will make your vision swim, will make your world turn white. I never, before now, understood what a full 10 on a pain level scale felt like. … Continue reading Blinding Pain
Is it normal for problems to become even more agonizingly painful shortly after starting physical therapy? At much urging from friends, I finally looked into seeing a physical therapist for my hip and lower back issues. My first appointment was Friday. Today is Wednesday. There are a few stretches and core strengthening exercises that were … Continue reading A Day of Agonizing Pain
Eight years ago this week I broke up with my best friend of twenty-five years. It had to be done. She had been verbally abusive and controlling when we were younger, and as we got older it became worse. This was true even though we lived on opposite sides of the country from one another. … Continue reading Missing a Best Friend after a Break Up
Once a year I indulge in stuffed squash for dinner. A whole acorn squash, with maple syrup and brown sugar and butter, and that's it. That's dinner. I love it and it feels ridiculously indulgent. Usually I watch Hocus Pocus while I eat. Last night was the night for this annual ritual. I bought the … Continue reading A healthy unhealthy dinner: Maple and brown sugar acorn squash
How the hell do you keep an exercise routine going when you feel like utter shit most of the time? I have sinus headaches that I've been getting since I was a kid. I don't know what causes them. In the past, they were thought to be sinus infections and I was given antibiotics anytime … Continue reading Not enough spoons for an exercise routine
The ways in which my free time is occupied varies according to whatever I happen to develop an obsession about at any given moment. Yesterday evening, it was duvet covers. I fell into an internet abyss filled to the brim with duvet covers. I ordered a new down comforter the other day. This is, as … Continue reading A New Down Comforter = A Very Good Day
Sometimes I worry about how my life might appear to others if I really let people in and allowed them to see the reality of my day-to-day. My life makes me so happy, though. Take today, for example. I woke up with my alarm at 5:15 and stumbled into the kitchen. Last night, I set … Continue reading Friday Joy: It’s Not Laziness, It’s Self-Care
Some folks are able to sit with their thoughts and quietly come to conclusions and make sense of their life. I am the opposite of that. Always have been. This results in me talking to friends incessantly, usually via various messaging platforms but sometimes in person or on the phone, too. To be honest, I've … Continue reading Being an external processor
I'm not overdoing anything. I'm stretching after each workout. I'm being gentle with my body and doing everything right. And yet, somehow, I've managed to hurt myself. Again. Like I always do. It's like my body just wasn't meant for exercise. Other people's are. Mine wants the couch and Chips Ahoy. The issue, this time, … Continue reading An exercise injury, yet again
I'm still struggling against wanting to lose weight and I'm frustrated by it. On some level I know my break from dating is in part because I don't feel good about my appearance. I don't want to feel like crap about how I look while I try to date. I want to feel confident and … Continue reading Friday joy and emotional struggles with size loss