Cleaning out a closet is all well and good, but what comes next? The before and after photos are enviable but what you don't see is what's going on just out of frame. What is it that you aren't seeing? Why, all the piles of shit that aren't going back into the closet, of course. … Continue reading Days 12 & 13: The Really F*cking Hard Stuff
Yesterday was day 4 of the challenge to honor achievements rather than focus on failures, and I proudly made progress in this regard. Did you? The hope/goal is by the end of 2020 I'll have unfucked my habitat. Perhaps other aspects of my life, as well. My Christmas tree has been taken down. The floor … Continue reading Day 4: The Unf*cking Continues
Yesterday, I did a bunch of chores I didn't feel like doing. Housekeeping isn't something I do well, but I made some effort and I got a few things done. It didn't feel like I did nearly enough. There was more I wanted done and I didn't do it. This made me feel terrible about … Continue reading New Series: A Year of Daily Accomplishments
It is time to leave. Today, we will pack our belongings back into our cars and return to our homes. We will enjoy this last morning as much as others, with far too much food and far more full bellies than an average day. But there will be a different feel to the event, a … Continue reading Beach trip: last day
Heading to the coast today for what my mom has started calling the "annual retreat." It's an apt descriptor. The whole wineaux friend group goes. This year there will be at least 14 of us. I've got to start hustling to get myself ready and get the car packed up. My goal is to leave … Continue reading Beach trip, day 1
It's easy to lose sight of good things when in the midst of a depressive spell. Please remember this: one can be thankful without feeling happy. I am thankful for my friendships. For the roof over my head, the hot water and heat that both work, the clothes I wear, the privileged life I lead. … Continue reading Depression and… feeling thankful?
All week long, I've been unable to write. Usually, I set up blog posts at night so they will publish the next morning. If for whatever reason that can't happen, I'll knock something out early in the morning while I have my coffee. This week, I have had no ability to write. Or read, for … Continue reading Constant Exposure to Current Events is Harmful to Emotional Well-Being
I continue to be amazed by my lack of pain. Every movement is a joy and I am constantly on the verge of bursting into happy sobs. When I rise from a seated position... nothing. I stand at the kitchen counter... and I'm totally fine. Bending to pick something up? No problem. It's consuming, these … Continue reading Flabbergasted and Joyous
All week I've been in unbelievable pain. My hip and lower back were acting up again. It's something that has always bothered me and it has gotten worse with age. I always assumed the root cause was something that was my fault. This was what I was told by various medical professionals. It was my … Continue reading Finally! A Relief From Pain!
Yesterday morning, I bemoaned not having a partner to help me while I'm laid up with back pain. Later in the day, I found a solution. I hired someone from taskrabbit to come help me with some chores. I found a solution I'm comfortable with, and I'm proud of this. Here is what I wrote … Continue reading Taking care of business
"Blinding pain" is one of those expressions one reads and hopes to never fully understand. It's an apt description, though. There is a certain degree of pain that will make your vision swim, will make your world turn white. I never, before now, understood what a full 10 on a pain level scale felt like. … Continue reading Blinding Pain
Is it normal for problems to become even more agonizingly painful shortly after starting physical therapy? At much urging from friends, I finally looked into seeing a physical therapist for my hip and lower back issues. My first appointment was Friday. Today is Wednesday. There are a few stretches and core strengthening exercises that were … Continue reading A Day of Agonizing Pain
Eight years ago this week I broke up with my best friend of twenty-five years. It had to be done. She had been verbally abusive and controlling when we were younger, and as we got older it became worse. This was true even though we lived on opposite sides of the country from one another. … Continue reading Missing a Best Friend after a Break Up
Once a year I indulge in stuffed squash for dinner. A whole acorn squash, with maple syrup and brown sugar and butter, and that's it. That's dinner. I love it and it feels ridiculously indulgent. Usually I watch Hocus Pocus while I eat. Last night was the night for this annual ritual. I bought the … Continue reading A healthy unhealthy dinner: Maple and brown sugar acorn squash
How the hell do you keep an exercise routine going when you feel like utter shit most of the time? I have sinus headaches that I've been getting since I was a kid. I don't know what causes them. In the past, they were thought to be sinus infections and I was given antibiotics anytime … Continue reading Not enough spoons for an exercise routine