I still have conversations in my head with the exN a lot. (exN = the narcissistic ex-partner, otherwise referred to as, "the Narcissist.") Often, I inadvertently fantasize about having to deal with him in some situation or another. Perhaps, he's sick. Or perhaps, it's some other reason. Somehow, he's in need and it's on me … Continue reading Story ideas: imagined interactions
Some folks are able to sit with their thoughts and quietly come to conclusions and make sense of their life. I am the opposite of that. Always have been. This results in me talking to friends incessantly, usually via various messaging platforms but sometimes in person or on the phone, too. To be honest, I've … Continue reading Being an external processor
I am drinking today and I know it's out of loneliness. It's one of those times where I'm completely content sitting at home in comfy clothes with a blanket on me cuddling with my cats and don't want to make plans with anyone or leave my house or do anything at all. And yet there's … Continue reading Let’s get witchy
Remembered feelings often don't match the realities written in the moment. Journaling holds one accountable, forces them to see what happened at any given time with greater clarity than could otherwise be achieved.
I kept turning away from the water and gazing towards the hills surrounding Nice. The lush greenery beckoned to me.
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Suppressed emotions during depression cause a fear of writing. Depression and writer's block go hand-in-hand. It isn't until the suppressed emotions are uncovered and addressed that a depressive spell lifts and writing can begin again.
Too many of us keep ourselves hidden. Too many of us learned it's what life requires of us. Don't be sensitive. Don't have big emotions. Push your feelings away. Maybe, just maybe, I want to show my writing to the world because I want to scream a big hearty FUCK THAT to all those notions and to inspire others to do the same.
Dear Current Self, It's been thirty years since we lived with the Narcissist. Thirty years have gone by. The whole horrible experience seems like such a blip now. In the grand scheme of things, the relationship only lasted a very brief period of time. But those are the views of a 70-year-old. It is not … Continue reading Letter from my Older Self to my Current Self
Less screen time, more books. Less stimulation, more meditation. I arrived back at home last night after a week away and I am quite deliriously happy about it. I slept in my own bed, sprawled out and warm and cozy, with both cats cuddled up against me. I woke feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. I woke … Continue reading Nourishing the mind
Desperate for creative inspiration, I turned to Google and searched for inspiration. Literally; it's what I typed into the search bar. I found the following quote on the website for The Chopra Center: “There is but one cause of human failure and that is man's lack of faith in his true self.“ - William James … Continue reading Narcissistic Recovery: Ready to Start Dating?
I'm writing this out in the hopes that someone astrologically knowledgeable will see it and be able to offer some guidance or support. Seriously. I can't stress how much this time of year sucks for me. Here's why. Just LOOK at that. It's legitimately true that every fiber of my being literally pulls as far … Continue reading Astrology Says It’s Okay That I Hate This Time Of Year
One of my neighbors on my cul-de-sac is retired, but she doesn't seem to have gotten the hang of taking it easy. We got snow for the third day in a row here, and it's quite icy out. Schools are closed and everyone who can has either taken the day off or is working from … Continue reading Random musing: The energetic neighbor lady
Sometimes, let’s face it, I sit down to do my daily writing practice and I’ve got nothing. I have no idea what to write about. I want to access something deep and meaningful inside me and there’s nothing there. It’s a blank slate. There are things I’m thinking about but they’re all swirling in a … Continue reading Depression, Anxiety and ADHD